Habits That Hurt

WARNING ! THIS IS A VERY FULL ON POST !

What can habits hurt? Well firstly your body, I personally haven’t but a lot of people have fallen into the habit of self harm. Secondly habits can hurt you friendships / relationships through they way you, act, talk or try to fit in. And finally habits can hurt your life, suicide, disorders, drugs and alcoholism may start from little tiny habits some of the time.

Habits are little things we develop to defend our selves in situations that may frighten or intimidate us, or make us feel bad about our selves. What is your habit?

I hate the idea of self harm, that is why I have never done it but don’t get me wrong I have thought about it. I went through about a 11 year period of bullying. I was chased around the play ground circled around and then teased. Once I hit year 4 things got a little physical, it went from being circled and teased to being bashed, kicked, stomped, spat on, you name it.

This continued for years, slowly cyber bullying entered the scene which enable me to be the target 24/7. Around year 8, I started having anxiety attacks and one month was so bad I was having one every night and I was having dreams of killing myself.

I got so stressed and tired that I spent one day just thinking of ways to do it. I got this feeling that I shouldn’t do it so I let the dreams continue and let the stress build.

I never had many friends ever, and the ones I did have bullied me too. They saw it as joking but the thing is if someone has been through what I have there is no such thing bullying as a joke.

Now I am not going to lie I wasn’t this perfect little kid either, I had moments with racism and sexism. And once I realized what I was doing I stopped. But the thing is after all this I never fitted in.

This is where I developed my habit, my habit was trying to make myself sound cool. So what I would do and still do is tell stories but try to make myself sound like I was really involved in the whole ordeal. So I would lie about my involvement.

Now I have never been able to kick my habit and recently this habit turned into hurt when I told a story and I did exactly what I just said. The effect it had on me was that my closest friend and I got into a huge argument. Now she is the one person I never want to lose and never want to fight with and this is why I am telling you all this.

Cause if you know me and you are reading this the I have probably done something like this to you to. And look I am not afraid to show you my weakness. And I am trying to tell you that your habit may effect your life sooner or later and that you need to kick your habit.

Drinking and drugs are not the answer to sadness. Sex is not the key to happiness. Smoking is not cool. Now in the other hand of disorders they are such a serious matter. People are really unaware of how insecure some people with disorders are.

People with disorders don’t just wake up one day and go yeah I want to be depressed or anorexic or what ever their disorder is. There is a lot that goes on behind the scenes they may of started out with a habit that grew into more what ever it may of been you need to understand that you are beautiful they way you are, people do love you and need you in their lives and that you are not alone.

We all have a habit or habits that have or will effect our lives in someway. Take some time to think about your habit and what it could effect and see if you can change it before it takes a strong hold in your life.